08.19.09
Love Letters
Believe it or not, first thing I did when I started living with my husband was to make “halungkat” his love letters from his exes. Man, I was curious. Have you ever read your bf or husband’s love letters from his ex? It’s weird, disturbing, and well, fun. I felt a teeny-tiny bit of jealousy at first but later on I turned into the bitch that I am and ridiculed each of the poor little notes.
Then of course, I read the ones that came from me. As expected, I loved my letters more. Hahahaha! They were of far better taste. The others just had better penmanship.
I asked my husband what he really loved about those other letters, but he didn’t answer. I guess it is wrong to ask it now, because it doesn’t have the same impact as when he received it.
And so looking back, I wish I had love letters from my exes too (I never received any, as in). So I’d know how it would feel to read it now, 15 years later.
Now that I’m married though, I’m not sure if I would still keep them. Not that my husband would mind but it might be inappropriate to keep memorabilia from long-dead relationships. But then again, there’s nothing wrong with keeping some souvenirs too, I guess. After all, that relationship made you who you are today. Maybe I’ll just be discreet about it. Keep it in a box and store in the basement, or in the attic, or bury it somewhere in the backyard.
Past love letters can only be as big a deal as you make it. After all, as Lucy Torres puts it (when she read Richard’s letters to Patricia Borromeo), “At least I’m the one reading them and storing them in the basement now. Not the other way around.”
Amen.
07.28.09
My Love Story
I can still remember the first time I saw my husband. It was our 1st day of enrollment as freshmen in college. He was sitting on the steps of the College Sec, and I can’t remember who he was with but I still remember him wearing a blue Giordano Classics shirt. He had been my crush from that day forward. Secret crush, of course. I could never show my face if my blockmates knew. So until 4th year I managed to keep my secret. Even when we were already an item I still managed to keep it for a while. But eventually when I told him, he never believed. He actually thought I was kidding. I was not.
I have always lived up to my ‘reputation’ back then. A known maldita, I was never the kind who swooned after boys. I was independent, outspoken, and I gave out the impression that I don’t need men. Hahah! But I didn’t have problems attracting the opposite sex, if you know what I mean. Still, they say, when you love..you just know. The heart has its reasons in which reason knows nothing.
And so I loved. Far more than ever I thought I could. Our relationship is far from perfect and we have hurt each other as much as we loved. But at the end of the day, you fight to make it work.
For love is not for the fearful, the timid, the weak. No matter how old you are, how sure, how ready, how strong…how deserving, how giving, how smart, how willing to give it your all…you can still get hurt and it hurts bad.
So know that when you love, you take one big huge leap into the unknown and no matter where you land or how hard, you know you could not have done otherwise.
I could not have done otherwise. If given the chance to live my life again, I would still choose the same choice, say yes to the same man, and cry for the same reasons.
I wouldn’t miss him for the world.
06.30.09
We’re pregnant!
The best birthday gift in the world is on its way. Thank you God for this little angel.:)
And to you my darling husband, I love you too.
02.05.09
Marriage
I’m married. Wow. That’s something I never thought I’d be.
I was never a big fan of marriage, and I’m not saying I am now. But I love the idea that it’s something new, it’s something you have to experience on your own, and nobody is really an expert on it.
My husband has been my boyfriend for the past 9 years. Imagine that. You’d think there’s nothing more we don’t know about each other. Truth is, there’s been a lot of surprises.
And though I’m not yet in the position to complain ‘coz I’m not, there’s still this one notion I have with marriage that hasn’t changed. It is a decision I have to make everyday. And boy, does my resolve weaken sometimes. But then there are days when it has never been stronger.
So I say yes, marriage is a lot of things. And this will not be the fist time I’ll be writing about it. I’m still discovering the magnitude of its power.
‘Till next time.
11.17.08
I am a Type 8 – the Asserter
Take your Enneagram Test too.
http://www.9types.com/newtest/homepage.actual.html
The Asserter (the Eight)
Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.
How to Get Along with Me
- Stand up for yourself… and me.
- Be confident, strong, and direct.
- Don’t gossip about me or betray my trust.
- Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
- Give me space to be alone.
- Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don’t flatter me.
- I often speak in an assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it’s a personal attack.
- When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that’s just the way I am.
What I Like About Being a Eight
- being independent and self-reliant
- being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
- being courageous, straightforward, and honest
- getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
- supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
- upholding just causes
What’s Hard About Being a Eight
- overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to
- being restless and impatient with others’ incompetence
- sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
- never forgetting injuries or injustices
- putting too much pressure on myself
- getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right
Eights as Children Often
- are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
- are sometimes loners
- seize control so they won’t be controlled
- fugure out others’ weaknesses
- attack verbally or physically when provoked
- take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings
Eights as Parents
- are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
- are sometimes overprotective
- can be demanding, controlling, and rigid
