October 28, 2006
Happy Anniversary
For the years past, I have never celebrated an anniversary with my boyfriend. Well I’m exaggerating. We did spend one anniversary together. But yes, just once. The funny thing is, even though I never had a meaningful anniversary, I keep waiting for it, every single year. I never fail to dream that this year’s might just be better than the last. And believe it or not, my dream just remains as is –a dream. They never managed to go exactly the way I painted and planned them to be, in fact, they are one of the worst anniversaries in the history of relationships. They never turned out the way I thought.
But I decided, that I have to give up my obsession in anniversaries. Because a relationship, to be truly called meaningful, does not need an anniversary, or a celebration of sorts. It is in the everyday that you treasure each other that really counts. What makes you go on from one anniversary to another, is what really matters.
I’m not saying I wasn’t hurt when my expectations crashed and burned, but through the years I learned (—painfully huh, with tears) that it really just depends on the two of you, and how you resolve your different perceptions. You can choose to fight over it, or just accept it. Because at the end of the day, you wouldn’t want some half-baked celebration just because you want it. You can’t demand for the usual romantic stuff, precisely because it is not romantic anymore when it is demanded.
So maybe, anniversaries are really based on perception. Some do through grand gestures, some celebrate it in intimacy of sorts. And then some, just do their thing and treat it like some other day.
I’m just a typical girl you know… I would still love to celebrate it with the person I made the decision for, and who gives the same value to the date as me. It’s not so much on what you do, or how fancy the celebration was…it’s more on how it still means to both of you, despite the years. But that’s just me. If my partner don’t value it as much, then that’s when the true test of the anniversary comes. Is it really worth fighting over? or is it just worth forgiving and accepting?
Well, I can’t say my relationship lasted for 7 years for nothing. We had our share of fights and break-ups..and I am no saint, I tell you. But I will cross heaven and hell, just to get to my next anniversary, even if again, it is not as I expect it to be. After all, it is just a date. As the text message put it: “Funny, how we set expectations on the right person to love. When at the back of our minds, the person we truly love will always be an exception.”
