I have always been friends with my ex. Not that I have many exes though, I only have 2 of those since my 3rd bf is still my current. Is it really that hard to be friends with a past love? Or am i just a hypocrite who believes it is a must?
Most people i know are not friendly with their ex. I, on the other hand, have moved heaven and hell just to be friends with mine.
I had my 1st bf when i was in high school, 3rd yr i think. We lasted for 2 years –that’s because we hardly see each other, we have no time to break up. It was totally a “binata” thing. We were constantly teased and paired with each other back then, so i thought, if im gonna have my 1st bf, its gonna be him. When we broke up –and he immediately jumped into a relationship with my best friend, I decided to be friends because i’d look like a bitter sourgraper if not. My reasons weren’t noble back then, but as the days and months went on, the friendship i had with him built my self-confidence. You know why? Because our relationship became better than when we were a couple. We were able to talk, and look each other square in the eye. And most importantly, he proved to me that ending our relationship was not my loss at all.
My 2nd was a more serious one. We were classmates, we were practically best friends even before the relationship started. Whatever happened to our relationship, it was not due to lack of love. So it was not very easy letting him go without restoring the friendship when the relationship ended.
So you see, for me, friendship after the love is very necessary. Because that person, whether you like it or not, had made you who you are. He made you realize just exactly how much pain you can endure and what you really want. And the success or failure of your next relationship will depend largely on how much you learned.
Im not saying its gonna be easy. Its gonna be really hard building the friendship from what was left. And the hardest part would be convincing your ex to extend the same effort. But I say, you have shared too much, loved too much, and hurt too much to not ever talk again. That, to me , is the hypocritical part. Am i correct or am i correct???
